339..on Monday..

Last couple of weeks have been hard. I've been emotionally unsettled because my baby girl was graduating from HS..don't know why...

I'm also short handed at work. Lost a great employee to an electric co-op where he plans to be an electrician/lineman and live closer to home and be near a girl he likes a lot. People at work are having to work out of their assigned work responsibilities... I've got a line on some good folks but right now things are frustrating.

I'm not organized right now. Out of rhythm... Feeling a little overwhelmed with a week of church camp coming, regular weekly required reports that have to be done are getting done late in the week. I've got a great groups of guys I'm going to play music with next week.. I'm really hoping that will help me get back in step. It did a world of good for me in February...this should be fun.

Anyway..I haven't been good the last couple of weeks, snickers bars, brownies, shiner, chips, bread, venti white chocolate mochas, ice cream, m&m's. I have not been good. I used food as a crutch instead of a gift from God.

I'm anxious because it's graduation time.. I got a pretty significant cut in pay last January and I just don't have the funds to hand out gifts like I did last year.. that hurts my heart. It's also my pride creeping in and jacking with me and tempting me to run more up on the credit card.. the agent of satan. Grrrr....

I've also pitched my "Rule of Life". A late night of rehearsal... a softball game doulbe header that hurt my knee. I'm out of wack... I need to get me some more wack somewhere.

Things felt so good there for a couple of weeks. I was on the verge of pushing my walk to a jog. I was carrying 5 lb weights with me on my walks and who knows.. some muscular tone might have been the reason for my stall in weight loss.. but anyway...it's not just that...

I haven't picked up a bible or a "spiritual book" in 2 weeks...my spiritual health is suffering through this time.

I'm feeling frantic, stalled, indicisive, overwhelmed, lazy, stupid, angry and frustrated with myself.

I got back on the eating part of the program on Monday.. I weighed 336 this morning... that seems aweful fast but anyway.. I've got to get me a new employee, get back on the walking and reading.. but I've got a family reunion coming on June 27th.. that's throwing some stress in to my life.. I'm looking forward to it but I just hope it all goes well.

Praying for God's peace, wisdom, and joy. I know when I get back on the program..even if my weight loss stalls.. I feel better... dang knee. If it hurts more this Thursday night I'm blowing off softball and focusing on walking and dancing. :-) >

Send me some wack if you have any..

Doesn't it always happen???

I'm two weeks in to what seems to be a fairly reasonable change I want to implement in my life... eat just a little smarter and move my body more..

So what happens? 2 weeks in I'm 2 lbs heavier.. man I love this...

On top of the fact that this day that was pretty good most of the way it ended with me discovering some crap at work that really bummed me... just day to day service stuff but just when you think you might have a really good day something bites you in the behind and then I'm lookin for fudge in all the wrong places. Anyway...this week...Tuesday I played about an hour of something like racquetball..the other three were playing it, but I was limited in my motion.. my legs felt like rubber and I almost ate the wall a couple of times.. but it was pretty fun.. until the next day and my knees were killing me. I walked the next day but Thursday my knees couldn't take it. I wasn't feelin it Friday either.. Got walks in on Saturday and Sunday and felt I was getting back in the swing. I blew it off tonight because I got home late from work and it was cold and I wasn't in the mood. I was really tempted to blow this whole thing off but to be honest with you one of my motivations is that some time in 2010 I would like to purchase one of these... and I know I can fit in one already.. already done the test drive.. but I'd like to be comfortable.. sideways.. in the car. I've got head room and leg room and I fit in the seat but I want to enjoy it...I'd also like to begin riding a bike again some day and I've got to keep moving. A bump in the road, I'm in a funk but I do plan to keep going forward.

362

362

Yes that right.. I weighed today for the first time in probably a couple of years and I weigh three hundred and sixty-two pounds..wow... I also now wear a 54 waist pants and I can't live like this any more... I've already learned from watching all my siblings that I will get diabetes...but do I need to rush it any faster? I've always had a weight problem since I was a kid. Food was my sanctuary when I was tense...and it still is. I've got to change that.

Chocolate is my heaven... and I've got to change that..or maybe just not go to heaven near as often..

Finally, I've got to move. somehow I've gotten very sedentary the last couple of years. Work used to keep me very active and now it does not because I have a great staff. I still work long hours and I've got that church gig too...tends to exhaust me and I really don't want to do anything else.

But now I'm committing to change. Not just a new years resolution but a change in my daily lifestyle. I've got to move. I started walking today.

I'm not doing a bunch of measurements and posting all that stuff and tracking my progress on sizes etc. I am laying out there for all to see that I'm too fat and I've got to make a change...I'd love your prayers and support and if you are so motivated..join me in this little exploit. No races to see who loses more faster. Just hoping to see progress. ... and I'll fail and I hope I get back up and get going again. Maybe that's why I'm letting you in on the deal. I'm gonna check my weight weekly...I'm gonna post weekly weight and approx miles walked each week. If I share it with you ... I'm a little more sold out on doing it....

If I drop some weight...maybe I can start riding a bike again too... I blogged about that way back when gas was $4.oo a gal.. would still be good for me..

Here is to a healthier, fuller and more active life!!!